wallow

oh, grief: your tenacity is admirable..

if i drink one drink, i know i will vomit.

if i drink one drink, i know i will vomit.  but not drinking, right now, is not an option.  i will learn to love my nausea; the retching and purging i will welcome. i will vomit all of the sins my folly has borne.

betrayal

true betrayal--betrayal by one who is cherished and trusted--is like witnessing a murder--a self-murder--of the person who betrays you.  you will heal.  but the one you loved--more than yourself--is lost, and you must mourn her.